Could it Be Post Romantic Stress Disorder?
"I can't eat, I can't sleep, I stare at the cell phone hoping he will call. What's wrong with me?"
Why do break ups hit so hard and take so long to get over?
In the weeks and months following your break up, if you struggle to move on, you just might be experiencing Post Romantic Stress Disorder. Here are some signs:
1. Checking his Facebook updates to see who is posting on his wall.
2. Thinking about him night and day.
3. Picking at your appearance or your personality, blaming yourself for not being good enough to keep him.
4. Difficulty concentrating at work or school.
5. Isolating from family and friends.
I once broke up with a great guy (I used to say "HE broke up with me, but I turned that around once I finally got over him!). I definitely had Post Romantic Stress Syndrome. He "lived" in my mind. I was determined to move on (after he disappeared and I hadn't heard from him in months). I tried everything. Even though the relationship was very brief, I had fallen deeply into lust with him and couldn't shake myself out of it.
Eventually, after the sting went away, I created a scene in my mind where I was the one that broke it off with him. I created a dialog with him that went something like this:
Me: Hi T.
Him: (Moving closer on the couch)
Me: I want to tell you that I have really enjoyed our time together.
Him: (Sipping his beer)
Me: I want to also thank you for the fun we've had...it was great!
Him: (Looking at me now)
Me: I wish you the best of luck!
Him: But I like hanging out with you.....
Me: I know that but we aren't really a good fit and I am ready to move on.
Him: (Looking a bit stunned) Are you sure?
Me: Yep.....
Him: (Walks me to the door, hugs me warmly and watches as I walk away)
Me: (Refused to look back to see if he was looking. Walked away with my head high and a big smile on my face)
I replayed the scene MY WAY and adjusted the details over a couple of weeks. Amazingly, I was finally able to put him behind me. It may seem overly simplistic. But it worked. Finally.
Little did I realize all these years later that I would find a real live Neuroscientist to help me understand that this was not all in my MIND. What? Yes...it is true. Breaking up triggers a flood of shocking brain chemicals that can control your emotional well-being.
Catherine Behan
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Asian Dating Websites - 5 Disadvantages of Dating a Younger Woman
If you are active on Asian dating websites, you are probably often drawn to women that are much younger than you. Obviously, within the stereotypes, a younger woman is very attractive to many men. However, there are some clear disadvantages, especially when you are dating cross-culturally.
Recently, there is a movement visible where older women date younger men. The older women are called cougars, and the difference in age can be really big, sometimes even around 20 years. More often we see younger women dating older men, and the stereotype of the older western man with the young Asian bride is still valid.
I want to tell something about some disadvantages of dating a younger woman, disadvantages that you would probably not have thought of yourself from your perspective.
Some are obvious, and others are more hidden, so let's start with the more obvious:
- A young woman often does not have children herself, and if she has children, she will often want children with you too. Now this seems a beautiful thing, to have kids together, but your age difference will be even more pronounced with little children around. Little children need a lot of attention, and a young wife will be even more drawn to the children than a slightly older woman. So all her attention will go to the children, and you have to decide if you can cope with that. Children also give you sleepless nights, which is much easier to cope with when you're young. A friend of mine hooked up with a South-American girl, and they got a little baby-boy together. Daddy is 61 and Mommy is 35, and the baby had severe health problems from birth. My friend was very worried, about the baby, but also about his financial situation and about his relationship; and to make things even more complicated, his 16 year-old son from his first marriage, who was living with him, couldn't cope with all the crying and the stress, and moved out. It was not the happy family he had dreamed of. Now, obviously, he was unlucky in some respect with an ill baby, but the main picture is often the same. It looks great for a start, but when you're older, having a baby is not as easy as it was 30 years ago.
- Young women want to go out, have fun, go to restaurants and bars. We all love to go out sometimes, but often, the older we get, the less we feel like going out every weekend twice or three times. Your young spouse will feel that you have become boring and dull, and she will be discontented with her life at home when her girlfriends are out having fun. Social life in Asian countries is totally different to what we are used to in the western world, and your new partner has probably spent few nights on her own. Many people live either with friends or, more often, with family. So being at home with just the two of you could be a shock to her and she will need time to adapt - and you will need energy to keep up with her!- Young women have a greater sex-drive than older men. I know, it's not always like that, but often this rings true. And you don't want to be incapable of satisfying her in the bedroom.
- When we get older, we often start to have health issues. Now it's very nice to have a younger woman taking care of you, but if it's always that way around, she will feel like she is more of a nurse than a wife. And that's not good for your relationship in the long run. Lately, I was on holiday on a cruise-ship, and one of the couples on the boat was an older man with a much younger woman. He was probably very ill, that's how he looked like, and she dragged him around the boat. It was not a pretty sight - she was a young woman in the strength of her life, and she spent her days looking after a man who could have been her father. And she seemed not to like all of it. Even though they had obviously been together for quite a while, she did go off and talk with other people, and even went to dance herself a couple of times, while he was in the bed already. In contrast, another older couple, both far in their 70's, had fun together and seemed really happy. I don't say that age was the only factor there, but it certainly had some influence.
- A younger woman will often be more attracted to your status and your finances than a woman who is rather successful in life herself. This in itself is not a big problem, but in the long run it can mean that she will nag you to work on your career, to get a better job, to earn more money, just as you are thinking of retiring early. Your pace will be different, as she is approaching her 40's you might approach your 60's and the difference in outlook on life is remarkable. You might be a young 60-something, but the age gap will only increase the older you get. Not all women realise that, and many of them will become very unhappy with their marriage, just because the age gap is becoming a big problem. If you are divorced, there are extra complications: you have been there, seen it, got the t-shirt; and for her everything is new. This does make a difference.
- Dating a young woman often also means dating a less educated woman. Which means that all those nights you spend together, will probably be send watching TV. She talks to her girlfriends about the things which interest her - and that is certainly not what interests you! And you will need friends and buddies to talk about your interests, because she won't have a clue what you're talking about. One of my friends is really tired of not being able to talk anything intelligent with his wife: whether politics, the warming up of the globe or energy-friendly cars, she is not interested and she looks blank at him if he even mentions it. The only things she can talk about is the kids, fashion and the latest diet. Not a stimulating environment to exchange ideas and thoughts. So, for me, intellectual compatibility goes a far stretch in long-term relationships.
Great article, worth the read before falling.
Asian Dating Websites - 5 Disadvantages of Dating a Younger Woman
If you are active on Asian dating websites, you are probably often drawn to women that are much younger than you. Obviously, within the stereotypes, a younger woman is very attractive to many men. However, there are some clear disadvantages, especially when you are dating cross-culturally.
Recently, there is a movement visible where older women date younger men. The older women are called cougars, and the difference in age can be really big, sometimes even around 20 years. More often we see younger women dating older men, and the stereotype of the older western man with the young Asian bride is still valid.
I want to tell something about some disadvantages of dating a younger woman, disadvantages that you would probably not have thought of yourself from your perspective.
Some are obvious, and others are more hidden, so let's start with the more obvious:
- A young woman often does not have children herself, and if she has children, she will often want children with you too. Now this seems a beautiful thing, to have kids together, but your age difference will be even more pronounced with little children around. Little children need a lot of attention, and a young wife will be even more drawn to the children than a slightly older woman. So all her attention will go to the children, and you have to decide if you can cope with that. Children also give you sleepless nights, which is much easier to cope with when you're young. A friend of mine hooked up with a South-American girl, and they got a little baby-boy together. Daddy is 61 and Mommy is 35, and the baby had severe health problems from birth. My friend was very worried, about the baby, but also about his financial situation and about his relationship; and to make things even more complicated, his 16 year-old son from his first marriage, who was living with him, couldn't cope with all the crying and the stress, and moved out. It was not the happy family he had dreamed of. Now, obviously, he was unlucky in some respect with an ill baby, but the main picture is often the same. It looks great for a start, but when you're older, having a baby is not as easy as it was 30 years ago.
- Young women want to go out, have fun, go to restaurants and bars. We all love to go out sometimes, but often, the older we get, the less we feel like going out every weekend twice or three times. Your young spouse will feel that you have become boring and dull, and she will be discontented with her life at home when her girlfriends are out having fun. Social life in Asian countries is totally different to what we are used to in the western world, and your new partner has probably spent few nights on her own. Many people live either with friends or, more often, with family. So being at home with just the two of you could be a shock to her and she will need time to adapt - and you will need energy to keep up with her!- Young women have a greater sex-drive than older men. I know, it's not always like that, but often this rings true. And you don't want to be incapable of satisfying her in the bedroom.
- When we get older, we often start to have health issues. Now it's very nice to have a younger woman taking care of you, but if it's always that way around, she will feel like she is more of a nurse than a wife. And that's not good for your relationship in the long run. Lately, I was on holiday on a cruise-ship, and one of the couples on the boat was an older man with a much younger woman. He was probably very ill, that's how he looked like, and she dragged him around the boat. It was not a pretty sight - she was a young woman in the strength of her life, and she spent her days looking after a man who could have been her father. And she seemed not to like all of it. Even though they had obviously been together for quite a while, she did go off and talk with other people, and even went to dance herself a couple of times, while he was in the bed already. In contrast, another older couple, both far in their 70's, had fun together and seemed really happy. I don't say that age was the only factor there, but it certainly had some influence.
- A younger woman will often be more attracted to your status and your finances than a woman who is rather successful in life herself. This in itself is not a big problem, but in the long run it can mean that she will nag you to work on your career, to get a better job, to earn more money, just as you are thinking of retiring early. Your pace will be different, as she is approaching her 40's you might approach your 60's and the difference in outlook on life is remarkable. You might be a young 60-something, but the age gap will only increase the older you get. Not all women realise that, and many of them will become very unhappy with their marriage, just because the age gap is becoming a big problem. If you are divorced, there are extra complications: you have been there, seen it, got the t-shirt; and for her everything is new. This does make a difference.
- Dating a young woman often also means dating a less educated woman. Which means that all those nights you spend together, will probably be send watching TV. She talks to her girlfriends about the things which interest her - and that is certainly not what interests you! And you will need friends and buddies to talk about your interests, because she won't have a clue what you're talking about. One of my friends is really tired of not being able to talk anything intelligent with his wife: whether politics, the warming up of the globe or energy-friendly cars, she is not interested and she looks blank at him if he even mentions it. The only things she can talk about is the kids, fashion and the latest diet. Not a stimulating environment to exchange ideas and thoughts. So, for me, intellectual compatibility goes a far stretch in long-term relationships.
Great article, worth the read before falling.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Numerology Meanings: Numbers 1 to 6
Numerology Meanings: Numbers 1 to 6
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Numerology meanings are based on an ancient technique to assess your strengths and your challenges in life, based on your name and your date of birth.
The ancient Chinese already used numerology meanings more than 5000 years ago, and the very first proof of a numerology grid was found on a tortoise shell. To assess your different characteristics, you can use different systems. The main two systems are the Western grid and the Eastern grid, whereby the numbers are placed in a different order.
The Western grid to assess numerology meanings is easy to explain. It consists of a 3x3 grid, where the numbers 1 to 9 are placed, each in their own cell. Number one is placed bottom left, number 2 middle left, number 3 top left, number 4 bottom middle, 5 middle middle, 6 top middle, 7 bottom right, 8 middle right, and 9 top right. Just like the numbers on a banking machine - a top-down mirror of how the numbers on a mobile phone look.
I myself prefer to use the Eastern grid, which is more complicated to explain. Good pictures explaining the Eastern grid can be found in my blogpost http://charlotterecommends.com/numerology-meanings.
There are different meanings and calculations to be done based on your date of birth and your name. If you add up all the numbers of your date of birth as single digits, you get a single number. For example, if I am born on August 23, 1965, my number would be 8+2+3+1+9+6+5=34; 3+4=7. My numerology meanings-number would be a 7. (Exception: If you have 11 or 22 in your birth date: November stays 11, and the dates with 11 or 22 also stay the same.)
In terms of numerology meanings, this is our Life Path number.
Life path numbers each have their own significance, each number shows a dominant vibration, strengths and challenges in your life. If you have added up the numbers of your date of birth, we can now go and have a look at the numerology meanings of each life path number.In this article I will explain the numerology meanings of the numbers 1 to 6, in the next article I will explain the numbers 7-22.
Life path number 1
Number ones are all about power and often become great leaders. If you have a life path number one you probably have plenty motivation, enthusiasm, creativity and inspiration. You are also physically healthier and mentally stronger than most people are. Your lust for success (especially material) is strong. Number ones who stray from their paths often end up in clingy, codependent relationships.
Life path number 2
Love, love, love... Oh, and did I say love? Your deepest soul urge is to find your soul mate. You're sensitive and diplomatic, and you have the gift of bringing harmony to any situation. Socializing, talking, hanging out with friends, it's all very important for you. If you isolate yourself, you're prone to depressed feelings, becoming pessimistic and lethargic. Not good.
Life path number 3
You thrive when you're on stage! Musician, writer, actor, dancer, public speaker, politician, whatever it takes to be up there.
You need beauty around you, exciting trips and actions, eccentric and famous people. Don't give up on your dreams and talents, because you're going to try to baffle the nagging voice of your true calling through drug abuse or promiscuity. Avoid that.Life path number 4
Stability, that is what you're about. You're probably one of the pillars of your community. Hard working, practical and trustworthy, number fours are loyal individuals that make fantastic marriage and business partners. Self-sacrifice is not a good idea for you, as you tend to demand too much of yourself and others - and you may develop a reputation as a martyr or even a tyrant. Your extra-strong will and stubborn character will sometimes be viewed as egoistic greedy behaviour. You won't understand why people think that way of you, because you're only thinking of the best for everyone.
Life path number 5
Freedom. Lots and lots of freedom. Do I need to any more? You're highly inquisitive, for you hands-on experience is the best teacher in life. you're deeply intelligent, philosophical and spiritually minded. Great communicators, excellent social anthropologists, archaeologists, teachers, writers and historians.
Be careful: because you van be quite self-absorbed, you're probably not very aware of the effect of your behaviour on other people. They will feel abused and tricked, and many broken relationships are the consequence.
For an explanation of the numerology meanings of numbers 7 to 22, you can go to my article with the title "Numerology Meanings: Numbers 7 - 22".
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Charlotte Kamman Eft Practitioner - About the Author:
Charlotte Kamman is a dating and relationship coach, helping people to become successful in their personal lives. O her website http://charlotterecommends.com she shares her experiences and discoveries.
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Discover the 4 vital secrets hidden within YOUR names, using the ancient system of Name Numerology...
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If you have taken a look at numerology than you understand that certain numbers are associated with specific characteristics. Each combination of letters or numbers can be reduced to a single digit. Once you have reduced your name or birth date to a single number you can look at the very simplistic chart below for some insight.
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Numerology has been a wonderful discovery, it helped me to accept my life path and to see my strengths and my challenges without feeling a victim. Highly recommended read.
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