Could it Be Post Romantic Stress Disorder?
"I can't eat, I can't sleep, I stare at the cell phone hoping he will call. What's wrong with me?"
Why do break ups hit so hard and take so long to get over?
In the weeks and months following your break up, if you struggle to move on, you just might be experiencing Post Romantic Stress Disorder. Here are some signs:
1. Checking his Facebook updates to see who is posting on his wall.
2. Thinking about him night and day.
3. Picking at your appearance or your personality, blaming yourself for not being good enough to keep him.
4. Difficulty concentrating at work or school.
5. Isolating from family and friends.
I once broke up with a great guy (I used to say "HE broke up with me, but I turned that around once I finally got over him!). I definitely had Post Romantic Stress Syndrome. He "lived" in my mind. I was determined to move on (after he disappeared and I hadn't heard from him in months). I tried everything. Even though the relationship was very brief, I had fallen deeply into lust with him and couldn't shake myself out of it.
Eventually, after the sting went away, I created a scene in my mind where I was the one that broke it off with him. I created a dialog with him that went something like this:
Me: Hi T.
Him: (Moving closer on the couch)
Me: I want to tell you that I have really enjoyed our time together.
Him: (Sipping his beer)
Me: I want to also thank you for the fun we've had...it was great!
Him: (Looking at me now)
Me: I wish you the best of luck!
Him: But I like hanging out with you.....
Me: I know that but we aren't really a good fit and I am ready to move on.
Him: (Looking a bit stunned) Are you sure?
Me: Yep.....
Him: (Walks me to the door, hugs me warmly and watches as I walk away)
Me: (Refused to look back to see if he was looking. Walked away with my head high and a big smile on my face)
I replayed the scene MY WAY and adjusted the details over a couple of weeks. Amazingly, I was finally able to put him behind me. It may seem overly simplistic. But it worked. Finally.
Little did I realize all these years later that I would find a real live Neuroscientist to help me understand that this was not all in my MIND. What? Yes...it is true. Breaking up triggers a flood of shocking brain chemicals that can control your emotional well-being.
Catherine Behan
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Asian Dating Websites - 5 Disadvantages of Dating a Younger Woman
If you are active on Asian dating websites, you are probably often drawn to women that are much younger than you. Obviously, within the stereotypes, a younger woman is very attractive to many men. However, there are some clear disadvantages, especially when you are dating cross-culturally.
Recently, there is a movement visible where older women date younger men. The older women are called cougars, and the difference in age can be really big, sometimes even around 20 years. More often we see younger women dating older men, and the stereotype of the older western man with the young Asian bride is still valid.
I want to tell something about some disadvantages of dating a younger woman, disadvantages that you would probably not have thought of yourself from your perspective.
Some are obvious, and others are more hidden, so let's start with the more obvious:
- A young woman often does not have children herself, and if she has children, she will often want children with you too. Now this seems a beautiful thing, to have kids together, but your age difference will be even more pronounced with little children around. Little children need a lot of attention, and a young wife will be even more drawn to the children than a slightly older woman. So all her attention will go to the children, and you have to decide if you can cope with that. Children also give you sleepless nights, which is much easier to cope with when you're young. A friend of mine hooked up with a South-American girl, and they got a little baby-boy together. Daddy is 61 and Mommy is 35, and the baby had severe health problems from birth. My friend was very worried, about the baby, but also about his financial situation and about his relationship; and to make things even more complicated, his 16 year-old son from his first marriage, who was living with him, couldn't cope with all the crying and the stress, and moved out. It was not the happy family he had dreamed of. Now, obviously, he was unlucky in some respect with an ill baby, but the main picture is often the same. It looks great for a start, but when you're older, having a baby is not as easy as it was 30 years ago.
- Young women want to go out, have fun, go to restaurants and bars. We all love to go out sometimes, but often, the older we get, the less we feel like going out every weekend twice or three times. Your young spouse will feel that you have become boring and dull, and she will be discontented with her life at home when her girlfriends are out having fun. Social life in Asian countries is totally different to what we are used to in the western world, and your new partner has probably spent few nights on her own. Many people live either with friends or, more often, with family. So being at home with just the two of you could be a shock to her and she will need time to adapt - and you will need energy to keep up with her!- Young women have a greater sex-drive than older men. I know, it's not always like that, but often this rings true. And you don't want to be incapable of satisfying her in the bedroom.
- When we get older, we often start to have health issues. Now it's very nice to have a younger woman taking care of you, but if it's always that way around, she will feel like she is more of a nurse than a wife. And that's not good for your relationship in the long run. Lately, I was on holiday on a cruise-ship, and one of the couples on the boat was an older man with a much younger woman. He was probably very ill, that's how he looked like, and she dragged him around the boat. It was not a pretty sight - she was a young woman in the strength of her life, and she spent her days looking after a man who could have been her father. And she seemed not to like all of it. Even though they had obviously been together for quite a while, she did go off and talk with other people, and even went to dance herself a couple of times, while he was in the bed already. In contrast, another older couple, both far in their 70's, had fun together and seemed really happy. I don't say that age was the only factor there, but it certainly had some influence.
- A younger woman will often be more attracted to your status and your finances than a woman who is rather successful in life herself. This in itself is not a big problem, but in the long run it can mean that she will nag you to work on your career, to get a better job, to earn more money, just as you are thinking of retiring early. Your pace will be different, as she is approaching her 40's you might approach your 60's and the difference in outlook on life is remarkable. You might be a young 60-something, but the age gap will only increase the older you get. Not all women realise that, and many of them will become very unhappy with their marriage, just because the age gap is becoming a big problem. If you are divorced, there are extra complications: you have been there, seen it, got the t-shirt; and for her everything is new. This does make a difference.
- Dating a young woman often also means dating a less educated woman. Which means that all those nights you spend together, will probably be send watching TV. She talks to her girlfriends about the things which interest her - and that is certainly not what interests you! And you will need friends and buddies to talk about your interests, because she won't have a clue what you're talking about. One of my friends is really tired of not being able to talk anything intelligent with his wife: whether politics, the warming up of the globe or energy-friendly cars, she is not interested and she looks blank at him if he even mentions it. The only things she can talk about is the kids, fashion and the latest diet. Not a stimulating environment to exchange ideas and thoughts. So, for me, intellectual compatibility goes a far stretch in long-term relationships.
Great article, worth the read before falling.
Asian Dating Websites - 5 Disadvantages of Dating a Younger Woman
If you are active on Asian dating websites, you are probably often drawn to women that are much younger than you. Obviously, within the stereotypes, a younger woman is very attractive to many men. However, there are some clear disadvantages, especially when you are dating cross-culturally.
Recently, there is a movement visible where older women date younger men. The older women are called cougars, and the difference in age can be really big, sometimes even around 20 years. More often we see younger women dating older men, and the stereotype of the older western man with the young Asian bride is still valid.
I want to tell something about some disadvantages of dating a younger woman, disadvantages that you would probably not have thought of yourself from your perspective.
Some are obvious, and others are more hidden, so let's start with the more obvious:
- A young woman often does not have children herself, and if she has children, she will often want children with you too. Now this seems a beautiful thing, to have kids together, but your age difference will be even more pronounced with little children around. Little children need a lot of attention, and a young wife will be even more drawn to the children than a slightly older woman. So all her attention will go to the children, and you have to decide if you can cope with that. Children also give you sleepless nights, which is much easier to cope with when you're young. A friend of mine hooked up with a South-American girl, and they got a little baby-boy together. Daddy is 61 and Mommy is 35, and the baby had severe health problems from birth. My friend was very worried, about the baby, but also about his financial situation and about his relationship; and to make things even more complicated, his 16 year-old son from his first marriage, who was living with him, couldn't cope with all the crying and the stress, and moved out. It was not the happy family he had dreamed of. Now, obviously, he was unlucky in some respect with an ill baby, but the main picture is often the same. It looks great for a start, but when you're older, having a baby is not as easy as it was 30 years ago.
- Young women want to go out, have fun, go to restaurants and bars. We all love to go out sometimes, but often, the older we get, the less we feel like going out every weekend twice or three times. Your young spouse will feel that you have become boring and dull, and she will be discontented with her life at home when her girlfriends are out having fun. Social life in Asian countries is totally different to what we are used to in the western world, and your new partner has probably spent few nights on her own. Many people live either with friends or, more often, with family. So being at home with just the two of you could be a shock to her and she will need time to adapt - and you will need energy to keep up with her!- Young women have a greater sex-drive than older men. I know, it's not always like that, but often this rings true. And you don't want to be incapable of satisfying her in the bedroom.
- When we get older, we often start to have health issues. Now it's very nice to have a younger woman taking care of you, but if it's always that way around, she will feel like she is more of a nurse than a wife. And that's not good for your relationship in the long run. Lately, I was on holiday on a cruise-ship, and one of the couples on the boat was an older man with a much younger woman. He was probably very ill, that's how he looked like, and she dragged him around the boat. It was not a pretty sight - she was a young woman in the strength of her life, and she spent her days looking after a man who could have been her father. And she seemed not to like all of it. Even though they had obviously been together for quite a while, she did go off and talk with other people, and even went to dance herself a couple of times, while he was in the bed already. In contrast, another older couple, both far in their 70's, had fun together and seemed really happy. I don't say that age was the only factor there, but it certainly had some influence.
- A younger woman will often be more attracted to your status and your finances than a woman who is rather successful in life herself. This in itself is not a big problem, but in the long run it can mean that she will nag you to work on your career, to get a better job, to earn more money, just as you are thinking of retiring early. Your pace will be different, as she is approaching her 40's you might approach your 60's and the difference in outlook on life is remarkable. You might be a young 60-something, but the age gap will only increase the older you get. Not all women realise that, and many of them will become very unhappy with their marriage, just because the age gap is becoming a big problem. If you are divorced, there are extra complications: you have been there, seen it, got the t-shirt; and for her everything is new. This does make a difference.
- Dating a young woman often also means dating a less educated woman. Which means that all those nights you spend together, will probably be send watching TV. She talks to her girlfriends about the things which interest her - and that is certainly not what interests you! And you will need friends and buddies to talk about your interests, because she won't have a clue what you're talking about. One of my friends is really tired of not being able to talk anything intelligent with his wife: whether politics, the warming up of the globe or energy-friendly cars, she is not interested and she looks blank at him if he even mentions it. The only things she can talk about is the kids, fashion and the latest diet. Not a stimulating environment to exchange ideas and thoughts. So, for me, intellectual compatibility goes a far stretch in long-term relationships.
Great article, worth the read before falling.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Numerology Meanings: Numbers 1 to 6
Numerology Meanings: Numbers 1 to 6
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Numerology meanings are based on an ancient technique to assess your strengths and your challenges in life, based on your name and your date of birth.
The ancient Chinese already used numerology meanings more than 5000 years ago, and the very first proof of a numerology grid was found on a tortoise shell. To assess your different characteristics, you can use different systems. The main two systems are the Western grid and the Eastern grid, whereby the numbers are placed in a different order.
The Western grid to assess numerology meanings is easy to explain. It consists of a 3x3 grid, where the numbers 1 to 9 are placed, each in their own cell. Number one is placed bottom left, number 2 middle left, number 3 top left, number 4 bottom middle, 5 middle middle, 6 top middle, 7 bottom right, 8 middle right, and 9 top right. Just like the numbers on a banking machine - a top-down mirror of how the numbers on a mobile phone look.
I myself prefer to use the Eastern grid, which is more complicated to explain. Good pictures explaining the Eastern grid can be found in my blogpost http://charlotterecommends.com/numerology-meanings.
There are different meanings and calculations to be done based on your date of birth and your name. If you add up all the numbers of your date of birth as single digits, you get a single number. For example, if I am born on August 23, 1965, my number would be 8+2+3+1+9+6+5=34; 3+4=7. My numerology meanings-number would be a 7. (Exception: If you have 11 or 22 in your birth date: November stays 11, and the dates with 11 or 22 also stay the same.)
In terms of numerology meanings, this is our Life Path number.
Life path numbers each have their own significance, each number shows a dominant vibration, strengths and challenges in your life. If you have added up the numbers of your date of birth, we can now go and have a look at the numerology meanings of each life path number.In this article I will explain the numerology meanings of the numbers 1 to 6, in the next article I will explain the numbers 7-22.
Life path number 1
Number ones are all about power and often become great leaders. If you have a life path number one you probably have plenty motivation, enthusiasm, creativity and inspiration. You are also physically healthier and mentally stronger than most people are. Your lust for success (especially material) is strong. Number ones who stray from their paths often end up in clingy, codependent relationships.
Life path number 2
Love, love, love... Oh, and did I say love? Your deepest soul urge is to find your soul mate. You're sensitive and diplomatic, and you have the gift of bringing harmony to any situation. Socializing, talking, hanging out with friends, it's all very important for you. If you isolate yourself, you're prone to depressed feelings, becoming pessimistic and lethargic. Not good.
Life path number 3
You thrive when you're on stage! Musician, writer, actor, dancer, public speaker, politician, whatever it takes to be up there.
You need beauty around you, exciting trips and actions, eccentric and famous people. Don't give up on your dreams and talents, because you're going to try to baffle the nagging voice of your true calling through drug abuse or promiscuity. Avoid that.Life path number 4
Stability, that is what you're about. You're probably one of the pillars of your community. Hard working, practical and trustworthy, number fours are loyal individuals that make fantastic marriage and business partners. Self-sacrifice is not a good idea for you, as you tend to demand too much of yourself and others - and you may develop a reputation as a martyr or even a tyrant. Your extra-strong will and stubborn character will sometimes be viewed as egoistic greedy behaviour. You won't understand why people think that way of you, because you're only thinking of the best for everyone.
Life path number 5
Freedom. Lots and lots of freedom. Do I need to any more? You're highly inquisitive, for you hands-on experience is the best teacher in life. you're deeply intelligent, philosophical and spiritually minded. Great communicators, excellent social anthropologists, archaeologists, teachers, writers and historians.
Be careful: because you van be quite self-absorbed, you're probably not very aware of the effect of your behaviour on other people. They will feel abused and tricked, and many broken relationships are the consequence.
For an explanation of the numerology meanings of numbers 7 to 22, you can go to my article with the title "Numerology Meanings: Numbers 7 - 22".
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Charlotte Kamman Eft Practitioner - About the Author:
Charlotte Kamman is a dating and relationship coach, helping people to become successful in their personal lives. O her website http://charlotterecommends.com she shares her experiences and discoveries.
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Discover the 4 vital secrets hidden within YOUR names, using the ancient system of Name Numerology...
Numerology meanings and your birth number not only hide the secrets to your destiny. They also can provide you with a better career, love, and even happiness.
If you have taken a look at numerology than you understand that certain numbers are associated with specific characteristics. Each combination of letters or numbers can be reduced to a single digit. Once you have reduced your name or birth date to a single number you can look at the very simplistic chart below for some insight. Number 1 – You are a leader, a pioneer.
If you have taken a look at numerology than you understand that certain numbers are associated with specific characteristics. Each combination of letters or numbers can be reduced to a single digit. Once you have reduced your name or birth date to a single number you can look at the very simplistic chart below for some insight.
If you have taken a look at numerology than you understand that certain numbers are associated with specific characteristics. Each combination of letters or numbers can be reduced to a single digit. Once you have reduced your name or birth date to a single number you can look at the very simplistic chart below for some insight.
Names and their meanings can affect us on three different levels - how a name sounds, it's origin of meaning and it's numerological meaning. Discover here how your name is affecting you!
Ever wonder what the purpose of your birthday is? I can show you how to access a knowledge that most pay alot of money for. By learning to calculate your life path number you will find out what your destiny is. You can learn to control your career, love and even your happiness.
Understanding numerology house numbers can help you discover the vibrations your very own humble home is giving out. This is because numerology works on vibrations. Before language, the sole form of communication was symbols and numbers. Numbers had meanings then, because of each one's unique vibration or frequency. As time went by...
Numerology meanings are based on an ancient technique to assess your strengths and your challenges in life, based on your name and your date of birth. In this article I explain how to calculate your life path number, and I give the numerology meanings of the numbers 1 to 6.
MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Numerology approaches name study from a cosmic Psycho-analytic foundational position.
Numerology is an ancient esoteric science of numbers. It is called magick of numbers. Although it is mostly close to Astrology than magick. Generally numerology is based on this principle : All multidigit numbers can be shown in categories from 1 to 9. All of this categories have occult characteristics that affect persons life.
Just like you and probably like many others, I have been attracted to many of the metaphysical sciences and especially numerology. My guess is that ever since the beginnings of civilization numbers have fascinated the human mind. At school we are taught that a number is an object of mathematics used for counting and measuring. We were probably also taught that the most familiar numbers are the natural numbers or counting numbers such as one, two, three, and so on.
Find out what an experienced Numerologist has to say about the upcoming dates 11/11 and even into the future on 11/11/11. Does this date hold any special significance and if so, what?
Have you ever had the thought that everywhere you look there is 11:11 or 4:44? You happen to wake up and look at the clock most nights at 2:22 am. Then on the way to work you see a license plate that reads CLD 222? Perhaps all you are seeing are single 3s, or every house number of the homes you are considering for purchase are located on the 700 block. Well, that's no coincidence. You've had an Angelic Message.
Numbers symbolize quantity. Numbers also symbolize qualities, as through number symbolism, better known as numerology. The number 11 is one of the most popular topics in basic numerology due to the unique energy it represents.
In numerology a person has several numbers which are calculated from their name or date of birth, These numbers describe and help guide a person throught life. The personality number is just of the personal numbers in numerology.
Numerology meanings are based on an ancient technique to assess your strengths and your challenges in life, based on your name and your date of birth. In this article I explain how to calculate your life path number, and I give the numerology meanings of the numbers 1 to 6.
Follow these rules of thumb for dating on Asian Dating Websites after a divorce, and you'll find the love of your life - sooner than you think - and you'll stay happy longer!
Avocado's are much healthier than often is thought. Find out the reasons, and learn about how to engage their healthy effects on your heart.
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Numerology has been a wonderful discovery, it helped me to accept my life path and to see my strengths and my challenges without feeling a victim. Highly recommended read.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Asian Dating Websites: Do the Inner Work Before You Write Your Online Profile
This is one article in a series of articles I'm writing for my clients which date on Asian dating websites, but it is useful for anyone who is dating online.
If you want a date, you will have to put yourself out there. If you are just looking at profiles and pictures, this will not bring you very far, and sending pre-formatted messages will not bring any dates, if your profile is not appealing.
Imagine: You send a ready-made message to a girl, what does she do? She looks at your profile, before she decides to react or not.
Now, you need to know what women are looking for.
A woman's mind works differently than a man's mind, and you probably already discovered that. Men often look at pictures, with each picture of a girl in bikini's they think (or say) "oh, she's cute!" - so that's easy for the women, to play on that.
Women are totally different. They will first look at the picture: does he look friendly? Does he look clean and well-groomed? Does he look like he is a good communicator? Does he look trustworthy? They will look for anything which would disqualify you: so if your hair is greasy or your shirt isn't spotless clean, they'll see that and click you away, without even having looked at your text. When your photo looks good, they'll read what you wrote, and the same applies here: They'll try to find something, anything, to disqualify you. Remember, women often have much more choice than men have, and they are biologically differently set up, they are brain-wired in a different way. Women can only get one child per year, and maybe maximum 10 or 12 in their lifetime, while men can sire hundreds of babies if they want. For a woman it is much more important to find a reliable, caring, generous husband than for a man: a good-looking girl who will take care of his offspring is enough - stone-age speaking!
So, your text. First, you want to think of what women want from you. I am sure you have had relationships before - so have a good look from a distance at the women you have dated and you have been together with. What was it that made them angry or frustrated about you? Did they call you selfish, or workaholic, or...? Have a good look at the criticism they gave you, and turn that around in strong points. If your ex-es called you selfish, you might put in your profile something like "I know what I want and I can be pretty stubborn, so I need a woman who is independent". A phrase I read somewhere and which says it all: "If you give me space I will come and stay with you, if you chase me, you will lose me."
You see what I mean? Turn your "weak points" into strengths, so that you will not attract just any woman out there, but you will attract the woman who's out there that is meant to be for you. The funny thing is, that if you are picky and distinct in what you want, women find that very attractive. And the chance that you get a reaction is much bigger than if you're transmitting the message that you're in for whatever relationship with whomever. Women want to be chosen, they want to feel special. if you put high standards, they love that. A woman wants a men with standards, not a man who will hook up with any girl who's willing!
So, do some inner work. Evaluate your relationships, make a list of the criticism that you got, and turn that into strong points in your profile. Accept that you are who you are, don't try to be different, because if you find a woman based on the wrong ideas, the relationship will not last - and honestly, most women feel that you're not being sincere and honest and authentic. So, go and look for your authentic self there, and put that out in your profile, and you'll see that you'll suddenly get much more reactions - not only if you make the first move, but also women who will message you because your profile jumps out of the rest. Women browse profiles too, so, sit back, do your inner work, write your profile and see the results for yourself!
Doing the inner work gives you a headstartin the dating field, AND it gives you a much better chance to meet the partner of your dreams - for a long-lasting, happy marriage.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Top 10 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish Last With Women: MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women. Shared with you by Asian-datingwebsites.com
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind…
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating…
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical… everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman… from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
It is true, I have to admit that. If a guy is uber-nervous and starts to block up completely, it's a huge turn-off. We can cope with a little nervousness, and we will be patient, but if you really don't have a clue, we will probably walk away from the first date already halfway - not even giving you a chance to show who you are. Sad, that's true. So, better get your act together before you meet your date in real life! I share more tips on dating on my website about Asian dating websites. Feel free to have a look and download the report with tips about writing your profile.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Top 10 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish Last With Women: MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women. Brought to you by Asian-datingwebsites.com
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To WomenEarlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea…
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
Mistake #8: I know that from my own experience. Sure, I like a guy to help me in the house and to share things like reading books and watching movies, but he definitely shouldn't be a doormat. I want to feel safe and protected when I'm with a man, and if he lets me walk all over him, I feel like I'm the one to protect him. And that's not good - my cave-woman instincts say clearly no to that :). This tip and other tips I share on my website Asian dating websites, for my clients and for you too. See you there!
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